AKA, I am trying to update my resume and I keep getting conflicting opinions on whether or not I should include an ‘objective’ on the top of the resume. What do you think?

I think ‘objectives’ are dumb. If I am reading through a pile of resumes the only objective I want to hear is that the job you are applying for – the one you want me to hire you for – is the ONLY JOB YOU EVER WANTED IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE! Seriously. If I am choosing between someone with a great CV who is dangling their toe in the water and (utilize Valley Girl voice here) “thinking the position might be a good fit and sounds kinda’ interesting” and a person who says (utilize powerful, grown up voice here), “all I ever wanted to do is be your assistant” well, guess who I am going to hire? Your objective  should be implicit – it should be to get the job you are applying for. If it’s something else, keep it to yourself because if it doesn’t match the job description exactly then your fancy ‘objective’ just became the reason NOT to hire you. Why would I hire someone whose objectives didn’t match the job? I am not your therapist or your girlfriend and I don’t care about your goals in life. You might as well write me a cover letter about how your boyfriend won’t commit.

However, if you get the job, and you knock my socks off for six months.  If you prove to me that ‘calling in sick’ is something you do only when you are actually ill.  If you show me that you are a doer and not an excuse maker. You know what?  I just might start caring about making you feel fulfilled and happy and give you a little mentoring along the way. But telling me your hopes and dreams for your career before we ever meet? Sure, why not? And maybe during the interview we can braid each others hair!