Dear AKA, I’m pregnant with my first baby and me and my husband and family are all very excited. My Godmother wants to host a shower for me. She’s very nice and I’m sure it’ll be really beautiful but she isn’t back from her winter home until 4 weeks before I’m due and she wants to have it at her house which is over 90 minutes away.  I can just imagine how uncomfortable I am going to be at 36 weeks and I’m also worried about what will happen if I have the baby early and don’t have the essentials yet. What should my response be? My Mom thinks I should call my Godmother and be gracious but she never called to ask me if I am free that weekend.

Ok Soon-To-Be-Mom. I am going to be very easy on you because you are pregnant and AKA knows how that feels and that the raging hormones and emotions can cloud our usually pristine judgment. Here goes.

Call you Godmother and tell her you are SO excited that she is going to throw you a shower and you will try to keep that baby in your belly until she gets home for the summer and she is just the nicest Godmother ever and thank you so very, very much!!

That’s it. All done. See? Isn’t being happy and thankful easy?

Seriously my sweet young Soon-To-Be-Mom, you can’t control this situation. Old ladies don’t ask permission.  They have money. They do whatever the hell they want (can you tell AKA is looking forward to this stage in her life?).  Your Godmother loves you and wants to shower you with gifts and apparently she doesn’t give a hoot if you pop early and she ends up with 100 un-eaten tea sandwiches.  Let it go…she has.

Showers are niceties, not requirements. They aren’t there to ‘provide you with the essentials.’ You’re the Mommy now, that’s your job. Is it wonderful if people buy you some onesies and a Baby Bjorn?  Yes. Is it awesome if your pals at work chip in to get you that ridiculously expensive stroller that you wanted? You bet. But I am assuming that you have a plan to purchase these items yourself because 1. you are about to become a responsible parent and 2. gift giving cannot be controlled any more than godmothers. You will most likely end up with 6 diaper genies, 10 blankets and no car seat (the one thing you actually need) so just go with it. Be glad for whatever gifts you receive and enjoy shopping for the rest.

AKA is going to re-visit this ‘shower’ thing another time. She knows you are preggers and probably need your nap. But watch out there chickens, there’s a diatribe in your future because AKA is not at all thrilled that showers – not to mention weddings and birthdays! - have become excuses for people to submit ‘shopping lists’ to their friends.  Lay down now Soon-To-Be-Mom, take a load off your sciatica and hum a little lullaby and close your eyes and think of babies and godmothers and all you have to be thankful for.  Isn’t that more pleasant than fretting about changing the date of your shower? Sweet dreams….